Siren Song

Secret Ninja Mom Trick #843

I’m calling your name and there’s no response. You never respond! WHY do you never respond? I panic –  run to the bathroom. You’re not there. I turn on the sink faucet and suddenly the thunder of a thousand bison across the plains begins it’s amazing journey from the other side of the kitchen where you had been feeding the cat’s water bowl the cat’s food – because it was hungry.

Secret Ninja Mom Trick #218

This elaborately mixed and lovingly poured beverage that includes prune juice, apple juice, crushed laxative and some water is MINE – You can’t have! The bright green straw is SO fun to sip on!
Oh? You would just DIE to not have it? Okay, little boy – but only because I love you.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.”


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