On Thursday Night, June 21, 2018, I looked at my beloved family and I decided enough was enough. With the newest round of national conversations centered on how the federal government was removing, “losing”, and caging small children from other countries who had been brought here seeking help and shelter from situations that the very same government created and perpetuated.
I am a citizen. I am a Patriot. I have a lot of privilege because of my light colored skin. Like any situation, I will use every advantage to further equality and justice. I will not be one of the nice, lawful citizens who watched the empire fall without actively resisting the oppression and death dealt to vulnerable populations .
I have been active, politically and socially, my whole life. They have been safe actions. Important services to the community performed in love and solidarity. I learned a lot about myself and “radicals” in the community during my occupation of the Tacoma, Washington NorthWest Detention Center, where 1500 migrant families are being held for deportation. I learned a lot of local history and refreshed my knowledge of relevant national history over the last 14 days.
As a Mexican-American, as a woman of edges, as the Queer Wife of an immigrant, and as a Mother I will not let oppressive policies and laws stand unchallenged. I will continue to practice self-love, family-love, community love, and democratic political practices until the empire changes or falls. Today marks our 14th Wedding Anniversary and I am so grateful to my wife for the gift of her friendship and love. I look forward to fighting with her, for our love, for the rest of our lives.
Where is this global citizenry? If a young professional is thrilled to give his service to the Spanish government (for example), and adhere to the Spanish rule of law and attempts to respectfully engage in said adopted country’s traditions….Why is everyone so hell bent on not inspiring loyalty or support. I mean…I’m very lost. Everyone needs mad skills. And if one empire is pouting over why another Empire is gaining citizenry, then take some notes and make some changes.
I acknowledge that there are people with terrible intentions doing terrible things, but our intelligences are cooperatively seeking them out, right? *shrugs* That’s the official story, until the current President has come along and is forming dubious relationships with other countries. The difficulty in migrating to a place you’d rather be, or, in so many terribly sad and unbelieve ways ,need to be to survive.
I’m not trying to paralyze myself or others with overwhelm. I’m suggesting that we start to use a different lens. Our population is exploding. Our infrastructure is tragic. The housing market is hotter than Sunday morning flap jacks. People are speaking up and becoming more active. Women and men are advocating for nurturing approaches. There are lots of positive changes moving forward. We just need to organize and make some choices. ‘
“You’re a Trailblazer” my boss said to me this afternoon.
“Great” I thought, another name for someone who has to face the unknown every step of the way. Yep, I understand that uncertainty is the name of life, but goodness, it can be really hard to process.
Tonight, a news line is thrust in my face about a lesbian couple; raped, murdered and burned. The media writes for shock, and that newsline certainly hit home. I think most folks are social, or at least not motivated enough to kill, but it only takes one man and one choice to eliminate or maim a Nation. And here we are.
I do not let crying or depression stop me from standing up or speaking out. I acknowledge my heart, too, and my heart is anxious. I am tired of being outraged. I celebrate that I am not passive in my resistance to the greed, consumption
I am grateful that I meet the right folks at the right time to level up in my attempts to live in a more mutually beneficial relationship with the earth and most of her inhabitants.
My young children are growing. It seems the more independent they become, the more of my interaction they need. I am continuing the resistance training (physical and societal) on a much pulled-back scale and feel quite fine with stepping back from the community to nurture my young. I’ll be back when they’re old enough to be involved and vocal about what matters to them, too.
There is a very wide array of marches, stories, demonstrations, injustices, natural disasters, battles and more occurring globally. I’ve gone back to school and am re-tooling myself to be an educator…formally…using strategies and my enjoyment of researching to be the best curator of knowledge (this is a phrase that’s been lodged in my brain for the last week), I can be. By way of an example, just this morning , with a wince and a smile, I began planting seeds of suggestions into other teacher’s ears about adding a hothouse laboratory classroom and raised bed gardens to teach the district recommended curriculum with multicultural practices, introducing STEM and agriculture knowledge I want to see it so badly and see what it would look like to raise a generator of students in a more active model than “sit and take”. I want to see what “motivated to learn’ looks like in this generation of elementary school students. During the staff meeting, some sort of teacher life coach was telling us that the most successful schools were returning to the Socratic method of education. I could only nod.
All that to say I’m just updating the space that has been quiet too long with some context to the radio silence. I haven’t given up my fight or fire, I’m just too tired to blog about it. I leave it to others for the time being.
I want a puppy really badly. Because I am craving another insane life responsibility to nurture and protect and bond with. Because I have infinite free time to devote to a cute and playful puppy. And so on. I am not going to adopt a puppy yet, because when I consider it head-on, it would be unjust to adopt a puppy. I use the term “puppy” loosely, I actually would love to adopt an adult or even senior, healthy dog. Meanwhile, I cuddle my increasingly independent spawn and enjoy focusing attention on my mate.
Spir°it: Breath of Life
As Imbolc is also known as Candlemas – 40 days after Christmas some religions celebrate the arrival of Jesus of Nazareth to the temple to be blessed and redeemed. It is there that the Goddess Bridghe took him into her arms and under her wing as his nursemaid. Once again, bright flames, it is time to lead the world by the hand (or the ear) to bring balance back into the world and reclaim female divinity. It is with that love, we lift our energies up to become stronger, and unified. We channel the energy of the globe of women who stood up for human rights and we drum and dance and sing to expand it. When we have danced a frenzy, we send it out to the peace-makers, the water protectors, the women teaching, farming, creating in every form, and strengthen the movement into the future. Raise your energy. Raise your voice.
My friend shared a quote by Maya Anglou, saying, “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”-Maya Angelou
It really struck me in a few different ways as I have been struggling this year. Struggling. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I’m in a place of acceptance and gratitude again, but the season is climaxing and if you sit quietly enough you can sense it. I digress.
I responded, “What about the ones who are Learning to love themselves and others as the same time?”
I respond, “What about those who have a hard time loving themselves, but wish to reflect back the love you shine.”
I feel the underlying truth of Maya Angelou’s words, but if love begets love. If love responds and grows and encompasses all it touches (which I see and experience regularly), then perhaps accepting the being’s offer of love, nurturing it and returning it can ripple out in revolution.
I am weaving my shirt. I will use the sleeves to hang my heart on.
Part two: The space we sit in. I have been emptying our space at home of things that are broken, things that no longer serve us. The trick is to not replace it with more things, but to leave space to breathe and play in.
Likewise, I often fill my hands with community work and engaging my young. Not earning a paycheque drives me to work harder to demonstrate my worth. It’s a modern illness that I struggle with. I have decided that I am going to dedicate my extracurricular time to one cause for one year and focus the rest of my energies into my home space and allowing rest and daydreaming and other things that will lead to production. Or into employment, depending on what happens this month.
Part three: I have openly invited folks to come out and help me break concrete on a future date; it’s a reclaimation project to plant drought tolerant plants into roundabouts. I aim to influence the replanting to include herbs. None took me up on it. I am looking for a companion to do random community projects with. Someone to be playful with. Someone who enjoys outside and activity and affection. My wife does many things with me (More so now than ever), and she is an awesome mate. Community stuff is not her bag and she supports my going out and doing stuff. I bring my kiddo with me, because he’s human shaped and wants to be involved in the things I’m involved in. The folks who I meet at the events are generally much older than I am, or monogamous. #polyproblems
And now we move toward the harvest season